The Screamer Tells the Truth

When the blonde-haired bombshell
swa-shayed down Central avenue,
I couldn't help but tuck in my gut;
after all, back rolls speak louder than heels,
but men don't want a girl who talks.

But then I realized in my 16th year,
Held back by holy books and dirty looks,
That the words have been in me all along;
And boys, prepare yourself;
arm yourself well against the spoken word,
For I'm a screamer.

I'm non-certified
undignified
super-sized
and my hips may lie,
but I will never give up an opportunity
To shout from my prodigal soap box
the truths of the millennium:
Han shot first
Beyonce DID have the best video of all time
My drink is the only thing virgin about me
And I'm queer as a three dollar bill.

I will never apologize for that.